Reintarnation (n.): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.  The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy (n.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

Inoculatte (n.): Coffee taken intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis (n.): Terminal coolness. . .

Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease.

Karmageddon (n.): It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido (n.): All talk and no action.

Dopeler Effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

(And the pick of the literature)

Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.