Newspaper Conscious?
September 2005
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The Wall Street Journal is read by
the people who run the country.
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The Washington Post is read by people
who think they run the country.
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The New York Times is read by people
who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword
puzzles.
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USA Today
is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really
understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics
shown in pie charts.
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The Los Angeles Times is read by people
who wouldn't mind running the country -- if they weren't on a freeway,
or playing beach ball, or at a Botox appointment or an audition -- and
if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
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The Boston Globe is read by people
whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it,
thank you very much.
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The New York Daily News is read by
people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care
as long as they can get a seat on the train.
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The New York Post is read by people
who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something
really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
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The Miami Herald is read by people
who are running another country but need the baseball scores.
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The San Francisco Chronicle is read
by people who aren't sure there is a country ... or that anyone is running
it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional
exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist
or dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or
galaxy provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.
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The National Enquirer is read by people
trapped in line at the grocery store.
Not a single one of these are read by the guy who is currently running
the country.
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